I am excited to share this week’s interview. If you are new here, be sure to read my previous interviews with a postpartum preeclampsia survivor, a preeclampsia survivor, and the founder of the Penelope Project. I met Natalie over on Instagram. Her account is nicubabyclub where she shares photos of preemies to raise awareness. She started this account after she gave birth to her own preemie. Natalie gave birth to a 32 weeker weighing 3 lb and 15 ounces due to preeclampsia.
If you don’t follow me over on Instagram, you should. As a preemie mom myself I relate to and connect to others with similar experiences. That is where I am most active. I also have a Facebook and Pinterest Page that I post regularly at. My newsletter subscribers are the first to know when I post a new post so click here to subscribe.
Table of Contents
Meet Natalie a Preemie Mom
My name is Natalie and I am 37 years old. I’m a wife, teacher, runner, fur momma, preemie momma, and advocate for preeclampsia and NICU moms. I’m a high school special education teacher. At the time of my pregnancy in 2018, I was a Varsity Cross Country Head Coach and Varsity Assistant Track Coach. In May 2019 I chose to resign from coaching due to personal reasons (my health and my preemie’s needs). Married for 12 years and have 2 boys. I have an 11-year-old son and a 19-month-old son (who is my preemie).
Pregnancy
Tell me about your pregnancy
I got pregnant with my 19-month-old in May 2018. I knew I was pregnant at 4 weeks because I am meticulous and tracked my monthly cycles. My pregnancy was filled with a lot of nausea for the first 3 months. I took anti-nausea medication and sometimes wonder if that was a factor in having a preterm baby. I am a runner who has run 3 full marathons. While pregnant I’d run anywhere from 3 to 6 miles a day. I craved salads and a lot of veggies. Different from my first pregnancy where I did not do any form of exercise whatsoever and ate Chinese and spaghetti ALL the time.
Throughout the pregnancy, I ate right, exercised, and gained little weight. I tried to be as healthy as I could have been especially since I already had my first scary and negative experience with my MFM but things don’t always go according to plan.
When did you know something was wrong?
The MFM had a special sonographer. He took me in for my scans. We were in his office for about 15 minutes and he brought me back to the waiting area. I text my husband a photograph of what would be our baby’s last sonogram photo.
Only 5 minutes later, after I sent my husband the photo through text, the sonographer asked if I could go back to his office. I could feel my blood run cold. I knew something was wrong. That had never happened before to me. I asked him 20 times if something was wrong. He kindly told me to relax. He said he just needed to retake some scans as my baby was quite the mover but I knew.
My scans showed I had a placental abruption and my baby was receiving intermittent blood flow. I needed to stay on hospital bed rest. She said it was mandatory. I felt my world crashing down and began to cry.
I told her I couldn’t. I’m a wife, a mother, I have a job and I cannot miss work 8 weeks and then have 6 more weeks of recovery after the baby comes. My son and husband needed me. I needed to be with them not at the hospital. She tried to calm me down and told me to take it one day at a time and we would figure it out.
Birth
What was it like the day your baby was born as a preemie mom?
The day my Liam was born I was having a 2nd follow-up with my OB. I was hospitalized on December 20th and 21st due to extremely high blood pressure. I was at work and left the nurse’s office. They urged me to call the doctor’s office. I didn’t feel good and went into my doctor’s office but was then sent to the hospital.
What worried me most was I wasn’t due for another 9 weeks. I stayed overnight at the hospital. Had my first follow-up and was thankful the baby wasn’t born…yet. I was told to stay home and be on bed rest. Which I did as instructed, but just felt uncomfortable.
I was having headaches, blurred vision and no matter how much I kept my feet up my BP readings were not good. On Christmas Eve 2018 I felt sick again. I called my doctor’s office to let him know the blood pressure readings at home were reading very high again. Unfortunately, I spent that Christmas Eve in the hospital. I didn’t want to ruin anyone’s Christmas, so I told my husband to take our son to his aunts and stay with family and that I would be fine. To enjoy Christmas Eve…but deep down inside I was so so very sad and upset.
Christmas is my favorite holiday, so I wanted to spend my last Christmas as a family of 3 at home. It would be our last Christmas before our new little addition. I was released in the afternoon and couldn’t wait to get home and finish Christmas with my family.
Tell me about your hospital stay as a preemie mom
I had been in Antepartum twice before I had my last hospitalization where my baby would be born. Antepartum was the area where mothers were kept for observation before delivery. It was funny that in all 3 stays I always got the same room. It felt like my home away from home. I already knew the nurses by name, their shifts, I knew which ones would bring me extra jello, juice, or pudding. They were all very kind ladies. At this point, I was made aware that I could potentially have a preemie baby.
They did the 24-hour urine test, gave me steroid shots to strengthen the baby’s lungs in case he was born early and I was also given magnesium sulfate. The mag drip made me feel like I was on fire. I was burning up and it made me very anxious.
The 3rd hospital stay was on December 27th, 2018. I went to the hospital and checked in at 3:30 p.m. I received my Antepartem room at 5:30 p.m. In the lobby, I felt very ill. I tried to tell the ladies in front but they said they were discharging a patient from the room I would be staying in. By the time I got to my room at 5:30 p.m., my blood pressure readings were reading higher and higher numbers.
Tell me about the birth as a preemie mom
My hospital is a teaching hospital so a medical student who was working with the nurses was helping monitor me. I wanted my doctor there. I felt he knew my medical history, he knew our plan and he had a way of calming me down. My body was acting very crazy and I had no control over it. Extremely irritated and began to fight with the young medical student about not giving me Labetalol, which is a blood pressure medication. I had not had a good reaction and my OB knew this.
While yelling and arguing with the young doctor my bp shot up to 191/105. The room quickly filled up with nurses and I yelled to kick her out. I was trying my hardest to calm down. They called my doctor and my husband. At 6:20 p.m. my husband was just arriving at the hospital. My doctor showed up along with more medical staff who would be monitoring me.
I was scared beyond belief because at this point I was told I could have a stroke or seizure with the readings of my BP. My doctor advised me we would have to have an emergency c-section. I was crying and trembling but knew it had to happen. So off we went to the operating room.
Liam Cole Ruiz was born December 27th, 2018 at 7:20 p.m. Weighing in at 3 pounds 15 ounces 16 inches long. Heavily medicated, but I remember that I didn’t hear my son cry. The look on my husband’s face showed great concern. I didn’t get a photo with him or get to kiss him for more than a second. My Liam was whisked away by the NICU Staff with my husband quietly following behind them.
How did it feel seeing your baby in the NICU as a preemie mom?
The first time I saw my baby in the NICU was 2 days after my c-section. I was coming off my 3rd magnesium sulfate drip. Luckily, I met the requirements to see my baby and I saw him in what I joked with the nurses as his blue tanning bed. Scared to touch my son, so I didn’t. The 2nd time I saw him I asked if I could hold him. The nurses said he wasn’t ready yet and I cried so so very hard. I just wanted to hold him close to me. I didn’t feel complete.
Each day that passed I seemed to cry harder and longer just longing to hold my Liam. On the 6th day, my mom accompanied me to the hospital. That was the day they told me I’d be able to finally hold my son. I cried so many tears. When I held him my eyes were dry. All I could do was smile. My mom took photos of me and she also photobombed my selfies with the baby. We still laugh about it.
Postpartum
How has your life changed since the preeclampsia diagnosis?
After my c-section recovery, I stayed on my medications for a month to ensure the preeclampsia would not worsen. After a month with my OB closely monitoring I got off all medications and recovered well. Thank God the preeclampsia has not affected my day-to-day life.
I started to research preeclampsia and preemie moms. I started to inform myself and wanted to have a platform to help others so I created my Instagram of the NICU BABY CLUB. We are a support system for moms and dads. We also give care packages to preemie mommas in the NICU where my baby stated. I took what happened to me and want to do something positive with this
Did you struggle with any emotions of failure/upset that it happened to you?
Felt cheated out of a pregnancy. I was not ready to have my baby early and the emotional roller coaster that followed for 10 months after was just as intense as the day I had my c-section. Feelings of depression overcame me. I have horrible flashbacks. I was so angry, and so hurt. There were a lot of feelings. It was a traumatic delivery and event in my life and I blamed myself. I blamed my work. I blamed my exercise habits. Blamed my cup of morning coffee and blamed my anti-nausea medication and I went over every possible scenario that could bring me to this point.
My doctors reassured me there was nothing I could do. Preemie moms go through so much that in essence having a baby early allows us to get better. It wasn’t until I heard this many times I understood and believed it wasn’t my fault. Every time my hand touched my belly, I ached. I knew my baby would be in the hospital for at least 8 weeks.
What was it like to still have a child at home and one in the NICU?
It was hard to recover and still be a preemie mom and still parent a 10-year-old. He had so many questions and was just as scared. I tried so hard to keep it together. My heart was in two. I felt guilty. It was my fault that this happened to my beautiful baby, to my beautiful older son who thought his mommy and brother were going to die, to my husband who was my support and he was quietly dealing with his emotions, to my family who came to my defense and helped me out so much. I was causing worry and stress to everyone.
On top of that, it was agonizing every time I’d come to the hospital to see my NICU baby. All the beautiful families were wheeling their term and perfectly pink-cheeked babies to the nursery. The couples would smile and laugh while holding hands. I’d be in an elevator alone, slowly walking down a long hallway to the NICU Level 3 carrying my pumped breastmilk and my tears would well up in my eyes. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t understand why at the time. Now I see this only made me the strong preemie momma I am today. It made me see that I had strength.
I’ve run 3 full marathon races in my life. Now I am not the fastest runner but 26.2 miles is a lot to run. I thought that was hard…then I became a NICU Momma and realized those marathons were 1/10th of what hard is. The hard that is a mother whose baby is fighting for their lives in a hospital.
How long did you suffer the effects of premature birth?
Healed within 2 months physically. Mentally, it is still a work in progress. Maybe I feel too much but it was quite an experience. It has shaped me to be the mother and person I am today. I created a nonprofit support group for my family. This didn’t just happen to me. It happened to my whole family and I want others to know you aren’t alone. Others have received the title of NICU Mom or NICU Dad and know what you are going through.
How is your baby doing today?
Today is July 27th, 2020. Liam is 19 months old (corrected age 17 months). He loves Elmo and Blue’s Clues. He loves to play hide-and-seek with his big brother. Loves to eat spaghetti and goldfish crackers. Loves our dogs and toys that have flashing lights.
Liam says about 20 words and can walk but doesn’t consistently walk on his own. This is something we are currently working on. He repeats words that we say and mimics behavior. His smile and laugh are contagious. We know that every day is a gift because he is our little miracle. I’ve learned to slow down and savor every moment. He is his own person. All children are different especially preemies. When he meets his milestones it is something that is truly celebrated by our family.
Did you know preeclampsia existed before it happened to you?
I had heard of preeclampsia through the show Real Housewives of Atlanta. It is a tv show on Bravo TV and one of my favorite Housewives, Kenya Moore a preemie mom, went through a preterm birth due to preeclampsia. All the signs she exhibited on the show I had. That is how I knew my feet swelling and gaining a lot of weight within a week were signs that I needed to contact my doctor. So thank you, Kenya Moore, for educating me on preeclampsia.
I do get sad that she, I, and many other women had to go through preeclampsia but in a sense, I am glad I did so I can help others as she helped me.
What do you wish people knew about preeclampsia?
Talk to your doctor right away if you feel like something is wrong. Keep tabs on yourself and pay attention to your body. I ignored the headaches and blurry vision. I should have started monitoring my blood pressure then. You could say I was in denial but I knew something was off. Kept telling myself, “Nah, I am ok. It’s part of pregnancy ” when it wasn’t.
What advice would you give to women who were just diagnosed with preeclampsia?
Take it easy, do the bed rest like they instruct, and stay calm. You don’t have to do those 10,000 things before your baby or babies get here. You don’t. As mothers and wives, we live in this perpetual state of being busy. You do not need that at all especially if you are preeclamptic. Nothing is more important than you sitting down and not worrying.
If you are worried about your other babies or children, know that your children have a support system. Your family and friends will come together for you. Don’t stress that you are in the hospital while your baby or kids are at home. Chances are you are more worried than they are. I wish I had listened when everyone told me to relax and stay calm. I lived in a perpetual state of anxiety. For what? It only made me sicker.
All those things you think you need to do…guess what….you don’t need to do them. Take time for yourself and relax. I tell you from my experience mommas. If I could go back I would have listened to this advice.
How was your postpartum recovery (physically, mentally, emotionally)?
It took me about 10 months to start to feel like me again. It took me some time to process what my mind, body, and soul went through. I chose to slow down in my life with my work, commitments, and just enjoy every single moment with my miracle and my family who has been my support system. Listened to my body and slowly started exercising. I found friends and family I could talk about my experience. It helped with the healing.
When my baby was 11 months old, I created my nonprofit organization. It was to help me reach out and connect with other preemie moms and dads who went through what I went through. We made care packages and delivered them on my preemie’s 1st birthday. It helped with my healing process to be able to see the doctors, nurses, and NICU staff and thank them for everything they did for me, my baby, and our family. It gave us our first Easter and Christmas together. Their job gave us our miracle baby.
I am very committed to my nonprofit. I strongly promote support for mothers who have dealt with and are healing, from preeclampsia, premature babies, other pregnancy-related health issues, and being a NICU preemie mom.
We are in this together and I feel part of my recovery is to be there for whoever needs that support too. We are all in this together. 💜
Are you a preemie mom? Do you want to embrace what you went through? Get this preeclampsia survivor shirt by clicking the image below.
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