I originally published my preeclampsia birth story in May 2020. Since its original publication, I have gone through a lot of therapy and have remembered parts of the story that I didn’t remember last year. I also have clarified some things and made changes to make the story flow a bit more. Everything I described is true and what I experienced. When you experienced a traumatic birth, sometimes you don’t remember everything as your brain’s way of protecting you.
If you want to stay updated on my latest posts and follow along with this story click here to subscribe. Click here to read Part 1 (Watch Your Blood Pressure). Click here to read Part 2 (Time For My Unexpected Hospitalization). Click here for Part 4 (The Painful Time After C-section). And click here for part 5 (Strong Emotions in the NICU).
Table of Contents
Preeclampsia Birth Story: Sudden Change of Events
I never expected to hear the phrase,
“You’re going to have this baby today.”
on May 28, 2019. 5 weeks before my due date.
I knew that my blood pressure was high and I was having contractions. But I felt fine. My doctor then asked me if he could check to see if I was dilated because I was having contractions the day before. I was at a 3.
A total overreaction, I still thought.
My doctor then talked to me,
“This is serious, and you need to head straight to the hospital. I’ll meet you there. This isn’t a stop by Walmart to pick up a few things then go, you need to go straight to the hospital.” He then sent me to an ultrasound room where I had a final ultrasound so they could estimate how much she would weigh at birth. She estimated to be 4 lb 11 oz at that ultrasound. After the ultrasound was completed, my husband, Steven, and I went back to our car and drove around the corner to the hospital.
Preeclampsia Birth Story: Prepared for Anything
We learned from the first hospital stay that we needed to have a bag packed just in case we have this baby suddenly. At every doctor’s appointment I had, we packed an overnight bag in our trunk. We just didn’t know what would happen and we wanted to be somewhat prepared. We also made sure our car seat was installed and we were ready to go. Just in case. I still held on to hope that at least I could make it to 37 weeks though.
Once we go to the hospital, we parked the car and then walked in. We rode the elevator to labor and delivery, holding hands with our minds racing. I called my parents and told them I was going to have this baby today. And as soon as I stepped out of the elevator, the nurses knew what I was there for. A lot of the nurses there I recognized from my previous stay. They were ready for me because my doctor had called them to let them know I was coming.
I didn’t have time to feel nervous or scared.
Things happened so quickly. I put on a gown, Steven took a picture of me pregnant for the last time, and then I climbed into the hospital bed and got hooked up.
Preeclampsia Birth Story: Settling Into The Hospital
I was hooked up to so many things. They started me on magnesium, antibiotics, and Pitocin through an IV. I had two monitors placed on my belly again, one to track heart rate and the other to track contractions. Two nurses put cushioned covers on the hospital railings to protect me in case I had a seizure. My blood pressure was so high that I was at a very high risk to have a seizure or a stroke. I got another blood draw to check on how my palette levels were doing. As soon as the nurses finished with that my doctor came in and checked on my dilation again, still at a 3.
He then broke my water. Having my water break was the weirdest feeling I have ever experienced. It was like I was peeing, but I couldn’t control the flow. Once all the fluid came out and the nurses cleaned up that mess, my doctor then placed a fetal scalp electrode onto Cora’s head. The electrode tracked her heart rate better. My doctor ordered me an epidural after that to relieve any pain I felt, in hopes, it would keep my blood pressure okay. At this time my blood pressure was hovering around 180/110.
I never felt in pain, so I didn’t question it. But I had full trust in my doctor so I felt okay with everything he thought needed to happen.
I was nervous about the epidural, only because it is a freakin long needle going into your spine. I curled up to the position on the side of my bed and Steven sat in front of me, just talking to me. He was telling me how strong I was and how proud he was and that everything was going to be okay.
I didn’t feel anything besides a cold sensation of the medication going through me. Once the anesthesiologist left, a nurse came in and inserted a catheter.
A couple of hours passed and it was now about 2 pm. I was starving. There was nothing in my stomach but a granola bar that I ate before my appointment that morning. The last thing I expected that day was to give birth. I felt so sleepy and icky as the result of the magnesium. The best way I can describe being on magnesium is feeling like the worst flu you’ve ever had on steroids.
A nurse came back into my room, took some more blood, and then gave me an oxygen mask and helped me move to my side. They were checking my blood again to make sure that my kidneys and liver weren’t starting to fail. The oxygen and turning me to my side was to try and see if that fixed Cora’s decelerating heart rate.
Preeclampsia Birth Story: Putting Our Lives Into My Doctors’ Hands
After a little bit, my doctor came back in and talked with me. Cora’s heart rate wasn’t getting any better and he gave me options. He told me that he would advise for a c-section to keep both of us safe, but told me if I wanted that I could try for an hour or two to have this baby by vaginal birth. I knew, because of how my doctor practiced, that he would never suggest a c-section unless it was necessary. My hospital also had one of the lowest c-section rates. I told him,
“I want to do whatever will keep me and my baby the safest.”
Then, I was prepped for a c-section.
This was when it all hit me. I felt every shiver and fear. I felt even sicker after being on magnesium for hours now. The nurse shaved my pubic hairs, put on a surgical hat for my hair, and reassured me.
“He is the best doctor here. He wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t absoluetely necessary”.
I clung to that and kept telling my nurse that I was so anxious about the surgery. I never had surgery before and was terrified of being able to feel the cuts or not waking back up.
“Will my baby cry?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” the nurse kindly responded.
“Will she be in the NICU?” I whimpered.
“We won’t know until she’s born,” she replied.
My lips quivered, but somehow I held in all my tears. There was no going back, I needed to have this baby. I knew that her heart rate was dropping, I knew she was in distress. I knew that my body was starting to fail. My only thought was that I had to get through this. For both of us.
Preeclampsia Birth Story: Starting The C-Section to Have This Baby
Right before I was wheeled out of the L&D room into the OR, the anesthesiologist came back in to give me a spinal tap. After he was done, my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. I didn’t know what to expect.
Within only a few minutes from consenting to the c-section, I wheeled away with a bunch of strangers into a cold room that had equipment in it that I had only seen in pictures and TV shows. I was put onto the surgical table. My arms were strapped down while lying straight out. Having my arms strapped down made me feel really trapped. I felt so many emotions at that very moment. My movement was restricted, my husband wasn’t around and I was in a room full of strangers wearing gowns and surgical masks. I just wanted to leave.
The last thing I wanted was to deal with this. This isn’t how I wanted to have this baby. I didn’t want to feel sick, and I didn’t want to be cut into.
All of those thoughts were swirling around in my head, Steven then came in and sat right next to my head. He grabbed my hand and I squeezed his hand as hard as I could. I was so terrified to have this baby. What was going to happen to me? Was my baby going to be alive when she was born? Is she going to cry?
Preeclampsia Birth Story: My Baby Is Alive
My doctor came in as well as another doctor from the clinic I went to that I saw previously before I was transferred to the high-risk doctor. Suddenly music started playing in the OR. It was the song, “Happy” by Pharell Williams.
The song made me far from happy though.
I was terrified.
What seemed like an eternity later, I heard tiny cries.
My heart flew.
She was alive!
I couldn’t wait to see her.
But I didn’t.
She was given directly to the NICU through a window in the OR.
Another eternity passed and then a nurse came in and said, “A beautiful baby girl. 4 pounds. 17 inches.” And gave her an APGAR score. At the time, I didn’t remember her score. But after looking through my medical records her first score was an 8 and then the next was a 9.
Preeclampsia Birth Story: This Is Only The Start
The rest of the surgery was a blur. I remember feeling like a toilet plunger was being used on my stomach and then I remember being in a different room, that I now know was the recovery room. To this day, I don’t know if I was actually awake. Nothing in my medical records indicates that I was knocked out, but I really can’t remember anything between hearing Cora’s weight and APGAR score and Steven talking to me in the recovery room.
I remember him having tears running down his face, telling me that our daughter was born. He showed me a picture on his phone and I cried as well. We shared the most intimate moment we ever had together. All the tears and heartache of the previous miscarriages and all the fear and unknowns leading up to this moment were worth it because we finally had our baby girl safe on the earth.
He told me that she was in the NICU but was doing well. “She’s so small,” he said, “But she has the cutest little nose.”
I thought I finally made it to the finish line of the marathon. Broken, beaten, and exhausted, but I made it.
Little did I know that I had to complete another marathon right after this and it was only the first day of my 6-day hospital stay.
Click here to read part 4 (The Painful Time After C-Section).
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Preeclampsia can come on fast. It is important to be on top of your pregnancy and prepared for anything. Checking my blood pressure regularly was very important to me and if you are pregnant it should be important to you. Here is the blood pressure cuff that I used to stay on top of my health. Click on the picture below to get one for yourself.
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