Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Scary Weeks 29-34

This post is a continuation of my previous post about my pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss covering weeks 29-34 of my current pregnancy. If you have not read that one before this one, I recommend reading it. As well as my first post covering this current pregnancy which covers pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss weeks 4-17.

I like to share these posts because I have enjoyed reading others’ stories online. It has made me feel less alone in feelings and everything I am experiencing with pregnancy after loss.

For those who do not know, this is my third pregnancy (I have had 3 chemical pregnancies before my living daughter, but I have only had 3 medically/clinically diagnosed pregnancies). My first was my living daughter who was born prematurely due to preeclampsia with severe features and my second was an ectopic pregnancy I am on my second pregnancy in less than a year. This is my pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss.

According to ACOG an ectopic pregnancy is, “when a fertilized egg grows outside of the uterus. Almost all ectopic pregnancies—more than 90%—occur in a fallopian tube. As the pregnancy grows, it can cause the tube to burst (rupture). A rupture can cause major internal bleeding. [Ectopic pregnancy is] a life-threatening emergency that needs immediate surgery.”

According to Pregnancy after Loss Support, “Pregnancy after loss is a unique experience of grief and joy that requires recognition from family, friends, peers, and professionals“

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pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss weeks 29-34

Table of Contents

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Week 29

This week, with it being the 4th of July we spent a lot of time outside. It hasn’t been as hot here in the summer as in past summers (thank goodness for that), but after spending a few hours outside I get really hot. This is the week I began to feel very pregnant. I just get tired much more easily and just can’t do as much. I feel like I just can’t keep up as much as I want to. Which was a hard reality to face to have to step back.

I don’t remember feeling that way with my first daughter, but I was in a different phase of life then. I was at a full-time desk job and not chasing around a preschooler. Now, I chase and entertain a preschooler all day and then try to do more at night or on the weekends.

This summer, we chose to stay close to my doctor and hospital in case something were to happen so we have not gone on trips like typical. Which, honestly, has been awesome. It has been nice to stay home and do fun local stuff we normally wouldn’t do.

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Week 30

The hardest part of this pregnancy thus far has been mental/emotional. Pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy is so mentally hard. On top of the layer of pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy, this is also a pregnancy after preeclampsia and prematurity. Which at this point in my pregnancy, weighs heavy on me. I have less fear about loss (it’s still there though) and more of a fear of getting preeclampsia again or giving birth to another premature baby.

This week I also started to experience some acid reflux at night. At first, this made me panic since I had absolutely terrible heartburn with my daughter (which I later learned was a symptom of preeclampsia!). I have been able to narrow down that no matter what I need to stop eating at a certain time of night and lay off anything that could be moderately spicy (like pepperoni) and I won’t get it.

I try to tell myself that everything is fine unless I’m told otherwise. But I live in a constant state of some level of anxiety. I just don’t know anything different. I’ve never experienced “a normal pregnancy”. It has been reassuring to feel rolls and kicks more often. I swear that baby sis must be bigger because sometimes her movements really do hurt.

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Week 31

This week I had a doctor’s appointment. Since my pregnancy has been pretty much “standard” I have been seeing the midwife that works under my doctor for the last several weeks. I was even more shocked that I was in and out of my doctor’s office in 30 minutes! None of my appointments at this point in time with my daughter were this quick. By this point in my pregnancy with her, I was experiencing high blood pressure and was about to be hospitalized for the first time.

Every morning, I check my blood pressure so I have a log of my normal and am able to catch IF my blood pressure will rise. I expect it to rise, but it has stayed normal. My blood pressure hasn’t even risen a little bit above my blood pressure outside of pregnancy. I am so grateful for this but also shocked.

This week I purchased an online breastfeeding course and took it. I am really glad I did because it has helped me better prepare to, hopefully, be able to breastfeed this next round. It also healed a lot of my heart because I learned that I had so many things against me with my daughter to be able to breastfeed. I didn’t have good lactation support from the hospital (which I have heard the same thing from numerous moms who delivered at that hospital), thyroid issues, giving birth prematurely just to name a few. Not to mention my body was way more focused on recovering than producing milk.

The course I purchased is from Karing for Postpartum. And I highly recommend it!

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Week 32

This week I had my “baby sprinkle” party. My mom was very kind to host this for me. I wanted to have a little party/get-together for this baby since it is my last pregnancy and after an ectopic pregnancy loss. With the pregnancy with my daughter, I barely made it out of the hospital to be able to attend! And only a few days later, I gave birth to her. So I wanted a “re-do”.

It was really fun, and I felt very loved and supported by the friends and family that showed up. It felt great to not be sick at all and be able to really enjoy this party. I was able to feel excited and grateful for making it this far and making it this far with no concerns.

Later on this week, I started to really feel some sort of emptiness for the baby we lost. I began to feel feelings similar to what I experienced shortly after my daughter’s traumatic birth. “Why me?” “Why are these the cards I have been dealt?” “Why is it that so-and-so can have healthy pregnancies and not lose babies but I do?” These questions are tricky to navigate. Because there is no answer.

We live in an imperfect world with imperfect bodies and these things just happen. There’s no reason or “greater purpose” for these things to happen. However, oftentimes those who experience hard things come out of it “better” or “stronger”. I am definitely a much better person now than I was before I experienced all I have in pregnancy loss and traumatic birth.

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Week 33

This week I had another appointment with my doctor. It ended up being a pretty quick appointment, which has been crazy to me. I am so used to long appointments, especially during this week. This is the week I was first hospitalized with my daughter. At my appointment, we talked about what my scheduled c-section would look like and how the plan is for me to be able to go to 39 weeks. Per hospital policy, I can’t schedule my c-section until I am 36 weeks so I don’t know my exact date yet. Rather, I have a range of what we are hoping will occur.

If something were to happen preeclampsia-wise or I go into preterm labor it may happen sooner but we’ll come to that if we ever have to.

I am so surprised that I have not had any symptoms of preeclampsia at all. Every day, I am so surprised that I have not swelled and can still wear my wedding ring even with it being in the middle of summer. I am so dang lucky.

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Week 34

Reality has started to hit me that we are having another baby pretty soon. The reality is that I will need to heal from a c-section surgery again (I am not looking forward to the healing part of this). And also just the reality of everything having a new baby brings. The sleepless nights, buying diapers again, and learning how to adjust to a new member of the family.

I am so glad it is happening especially after losing our baby last year. But it is definitely going to be an adjustment. We are just so used to our family of 3 and going to have to relearn new routines. I am really looking forward to Steven having paternity leave this time which will make the transition so much smoother and less of a financial burden.

This week I have started to feel movements a whole lot more. I can watch my belly do a “wave” motion. And I have definitely started to “feel” pregnant. Just much more tired and feel the aches and pains of the belly/weight gain. It’s been an adjustment for me to have a lot more grace with myself and make my workouts shorter walks and more yoga. Sleeping is still going alright but I do have random nights of insomnia. Heartburn is becoming more frequent, but slowly figuring out what triggers it and avoiding those foods for now.

Overall, getting ready for the incoming change as much as I can. As well as preparing to heal from a c-section with freezer meals, making the house as post-surgery friendly as possible, and making sure my bag is packed and ready to go as well as one for my daughter. I think it’ll be a little easier to prepare once the surgery is scheduled since we will have a date to plan for.

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss FAQs:

I had surgery and my tube was removed
I also had a large cyst in my ovary at the same time that was drained out during the surgery
I had a D&C at the same time
I never took methotrexate to manage the ectopic pregnancy
I do not qualify for a VBAC due to my medical and pregnancy history
I have been on baby aspirin ever since I was TTC due to my history of blood clots and preeclampsia
I tracked my cycle after my ectopic pregnancy surgery with Premom ovulation strips
I first discovered I was pregnant after tracking my cycle with Premom pregnancy tests

Books I Read After My Ectopic Pregnancy Loss

I read a few books after my ectopic pregnancy loss. I found books helped me feel less alone in what I was going through.

Some of my favorites are:

I Had a Miscarriage by Jessica Zucker
Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss by Rachel Lewis
Gone Too Soon by Sherri Devashrayee Wittwer

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