Look for The 5 Things I Am Grateful for Challenge at the end of the post!
When times are hard, it is really easy to just nitpick at everything that is wrong in our lives and forget things I am grateful for. I think collectively, the world agrees with the statement “2020 sucked”. COVID-19 has disrupted many lives, along with the fears of a presidential election, civil unrest, and just the world seeming to fall apart around us. This week is Thanksgiving for those in the United States and this year is looking a lot different than years past. In honor of Thanksgiving, I wanted to share my thoughts about things I am grateful for.
Last year, I was 6 months postpartum. I finally was able to wear non-maternity leggings and pants (my recovery has been really tough, more on that here). I was flat-out depressed and angry. I had a lot of anger towards the world for everything that had happened to me. I was hurt by words and actions from others. I was jealous of other people’s lives. I somehow found the strength in myself to reach out for help and started therapy.
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My therapist challenged me to start a gratitude journal.
I laughed when she first suggested it. I felt like I didn’t have things I am grateful for. We were so broke that WIC was one of the main reasons we had food on the table. My husband was in his last semester of college and was applying for jobs like crazy, but no offers. He was also working 30+ hours a week while in school full time. So I was alone with Cora for hours in our tiny one-bedroom apartment. What in the world could I even be grateful for? Everything was going wrong and has been going wrong since I was 32 weeks pregnant. Actually, since I lost my first pregnancy over a year ago at that point.
She then told me that even if I said I was grateful for just being able to breathe, it still counted. But I had to think of 5 things each day.
Gosh, that was so hard.
But I did it.
I was so determined to stop feeling the way I was feeling. It wasn’t fun. And it was hard and exhausting. The anger I felt was eating away my insides.
The first night I wrote down what I was grateful for was simple:
5 Things I Am Grateful For
- I woke up this morning
- Therapy
- I can breathe
- No high blood pressure
- I have a bed.
Honestly, those 5 things took me forever to think of. I really felt like there was nothing in my life I was actually grateful for. It was like I didn’t have peripheral vision and I could only see what was directly in front of me. And what was in front of me was just a smelly pile of poop.
As time passed, it got a little easier to find other things I am grateful for. Instead of only thinking about those things at night, I started looking for what to write down as soon as I got up in the morning.
My list started to look like
5 Things I Am Grateful For
- I’m grateful I have a doctor that looked out for me in my pregnancy
- Grateful for Cora’s doctor who looks out for her
- I am grateful for my parents and how wonderful they are to me & Steven
- I am glad I am alive
- I am grateful for Steven’s job
I noticed a change in myself just doing the gratitude journal.
I was happier. I was able to look towards the future with hope. I was no longer letting myself be a victim to the world and others’ actions. I was learning to take responsibility and accept the cards I was handed. Would I do anything to not get preeclampsia? 100%. I would give ANYTHING to be able to carry Cora for 5 more weeks, heck even just another week! But living in a victim mindset is so toxic to yourself.
Once we learn how to look for the good things in our life, we realize that the world isn’t actively working against us.
Life isn’t meant to be an easy-breezy walkthrough. We wouldn’t know that the good times were good unless we knew what the bad times were like. Do the bad times suck? 100% But they do not last forever.
Gratitude is really a simple thing, but it is a life-changing thing. The gratitude journal was just a starting point for me to be able to change my perspective. The next step for me was to tell Steven at least once a day something I am grateful for that he does. I was always so grateful for him and felt that I was the luckiest girl in the world to be his wife, but didn’t express that often enough. I was too focused on myself to be able to look outside of myself.
I am not trying to imply that gratitude is the ultimate cure for depression.
It is simply a tool to use that will help you. Nearly a year later after I started my gratitude journal, I got on an anti-depressant. There are many tools out there to help those who do struggle with depression whether that depression is chronic, situational, or postpartum.
Today, my list looks a bit different.
5 Things I Am Grateful For
- I am grateful for the experience I had with preeclampsia because it shaped me to be who I am today. A stronger woman who advocates for other moms and babies.
- I am grateful that because of my husband working long hours and although it has been hard for me at times to be a stay at home mom, we have been able to purchase our first home.
- I am grateful that I went through being dirt poor because it makes me appreciate what I have now so much more and allows me to give to others less fortunate than me.
- I am so grateful I had experiences that taught me what it felt like to mourn and grieve because I have empathy for others going through what I went through.
- I am grateful that I learned who my true friends and family were. It allowed me to deepen those relationships and cut off those who didn’t lift me up.
I have changed my perspective to now be able to look back and see all the good that was in my bad. I am not perfect at this, but it is definitely a lot better than it was just a year ago. Gratitude allows us to see the good and be able to walk past the bad.
I encourage you to start your own gratitude journal and change your perspective about your life. What are the things you are grateful for? Once you do, your life will change.
Now, here is the challenge.
Knock on Motherhood’s: The 5 Things I Am Grateful For Challenge
Each day on your Instagram story this week, post 5 things you are grateful for. If you do not want to do it to your story or you do not have Instagram, I have made you a free printable below
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I promise you, that your life will change if you commit to this challenge of listing 5 things you are grateful for.
If you have completed the challenge, let me know how it went in the comments below!
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I would be lying if I said I journal every day. But taking time to write down the 5 things I am grateful for each day adds up in significant ways. This year-long gratitude journal guide gives you a place to keep your gratitude. Make sure to click on the image below and buy your own gratitude journal.
