My Tragic Experience with 3 Chemical Pregnancies

I experienced 3 chemical pregnancies before I turned 23. I was only 21 when I experienced my first pregnancy loss, a chemical pregnancy. To have an experience with 3 chemical pregnancies was something I never thought would happen to me. I didn’t even know a chemical pregnancy was something that could happen. I heard of miscarriages before, but I didn’t know this is what a miscarriage could be.

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What is a chemical pregnancy?

According to Cleveland Clinic, “A chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage that happens within the first five weeks of pregnancy. An embryo forms and may even embed in your uterus lining (implantation), but then it stops developing. Chemical pregnancies occur so early that many people who miscarry don’t realize it.

Sometimes, the loss from a chemical pregnancy feels devastating, especially if you’ve been trying hard to have a baby. Having one chemical pregnancy doesn’t mean you can’t carry a baby to term, though. Many people who’ve experienced early miscarriages go on to have successful pregnancies.”

My husband, Steven, and I talked about having kids someday while we were dating. To me, someday was truly a someday in the distant future. “Four,” I said, “No more than four”. Honestly, this number was only because I was one of four. It was a good number for me. I love all my siblings and the individual relationships I had with them. Steven agreed to my number by commenting “Any more than four is too much. It is hard to be a good parent with more than four, I think”. Satisfied, we stuck with that number of four. .someday we will have four kids.

Is it common to have 3 chemical pregnancies in a row?

Chemical pregnancies are very common. Just because it is common doesn’t mean your grief or loss of a pregnancy isn’t valid. According to Cleveland Clinic, about 80% of miscarriages that occur happen early. Having them 3 in a row isn’t necessarily uncommon but it is something that would be good to speak to your doctor about.

How to prevent chemical Pregnancy

Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to prevent a chemical pregnancy. Anyone who can get pregnant can experience a chemical pregnancy. Chemical pregnancies are very common. Just because it is common doesn’t mean your grief or loss of a pregnancy isn’t valid. According to Cleveland Clinic, about 80% of miscarriages that occur happen early.

However, there are risk factors for chemical pregnancy. Risk factors such as age, thyroid disorders, diabetes, PCOS, and an atypical-shaped uterus.

What are the symptoms of a chemical pregnancy?

Some symptoms may include, according to the Miscarriage Association

• the positive pregnancy test that can quickly turn negative
• a heavier than your normal period
• Vaginal bleeding after a positive test
• Low HCG levels when tested by a doctor

Are There Any Tips for Getting Pregnant after Chemical Pregnancy?

If you have concerns about getting pregnant due to your age or suspect a thyroid condition it is always a good idea to speak to your doctor. Getting a preconception visit with your OBGYN is also always a good idea.

A way to help figure out your individual cycle is to use ovulation tracking strips such as those from Premom. I personally used Premom ovulation strips while tracking ovulation and have gotten successful at getting pregnant with them.

Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to prevent a chemical pregnancy. Anyone who can get pregnant can experience a chemical pregnancy. Chemical pregnancies are very common. Just because it is common doesn’t mean your grief or loss of a pregnancy isn’t valid. According to Cleveland Clinic, about 80% of miscarriages that occur happen early.

Is there Treatment for recurrent chemical pregnancy?

If you have any concerns about getting pregnant or recurrent chemical pregnancy or other pregnancy losses, it is always a good idea to speak to your doctor. They will be able to give you the best advice and guidance on how to conceive.

How can I heal emotionally from a chemical pregnancy?

I found a lot of comfort in reading books about chemical pregnancy and miscarriage. One of my favorite books is “I had a Miscarriage” by Jessica Zucker. I also enjoyed the book “Unexpecting” By Rachel Lewis. Both books really made me feel less alone in my feelings and experience.

My Experience with 3 Chemical Pregnancies

We had been married for over a year and we were living thousands of miles away from everyone we knew in Huntsville, AL. Steven was completing an internship and I was just completing school online that semester. Before we left Idaho in May to move to Alabama I went to my doctor and removed my IUD. We decided it was time to start our family after months of praying, discussing, and crunching numbers. Steven was the first one of us to bring up the idea to have a child. It took me months to get on board with that idea. We weren’t in a huge rush, but we were ecstatic to take the next step in completing our someday plans.

July 25, 2018 was the first positive pregnancy test.

I first did a cheap little test I got when we first started to try. The line was pretty faint, but it was clearly there. I couldn’t believe it.

Me? Pregnant? Already?

I didn’t really know how to feel. I took the test in the middle of the day while Steven was gone. Our apartment was right behind a Target so I walked over and bought little baby booties that were striped and said “Dream Big”. I walked back home and wrote a sweet little note. Put the note, the positive test, and the booties on the bed and waited for him to come home.

Steven was so happy and ecstatic. I was terrified but happy.

The next morning I took the clear blue digital test and we looked at it together and the words PREGNANT showed up.

I really couldn’t wrap my mind around it. I called my doctor back in Idaho and asked what I should do since I was out of state. They counseled me to get prenatal care in Alabama until I moved back and to just transfer my records over then.

Almost a week later I woke up on an early Sunday morning covered in my own blood.

I shook Steven awake to tell him before running to the bathroom. He follows me. I started passing so much clotted blood. I started crying hysterically while half-naked on the toilet. Steven holds my hand and then started crying.

“What do I do?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Am I miscarrying?”

“I don’t know

I then asked Steven to grab my phone so I could call my mom and ask what to do. At this time, no one knew we were trying to get pregnant. I explained to my parents the situation and they encouraged me to go to urgent care and see what they could do and to keep them posted. Steven, being the saint he is, ran to Target to get me the thickest pads he could find so we could get in the car and go to the closest urgent care that we found on Apple Maps.

We get there and filled out all the paperwork and they took me back. I explained to them all that happened and they told me just to go to the emergency room. It was a Sunday in the South, so that was the only other place open. We then drove to the ER with the directions they gave us. I filled out the paperwork and sat in the waiting room for hours.

By this point, it was early afternoon and we both hadn’t had anything to eat or drink. We were running on pure adrenaline and anxiety. After a few hours of waiting, I got taken back to give a urine and blood sample. I passed out during the blood draw and then had to be wheeled back to the waiting room in a wheelchair. I think I passed out due to the blood loss combined with the lack of water and food. At this time I updated my parents and also told my close friends what was going on because we wanted some support and prayers.

After another hour or so of waiting, we both got taken back and put in a room. I got another blood draw and had my vitals taken. It wasn’t until another hour or so that we saw any sort of medical professional. A PA then came in to tell me that my labs said I wasn’t pregnant.

“But I had a positive test a week ago?”

“You aren’t pregnant. It is just your period,” the PA said slowly, treating me like I didn’t know what a period was like.

“I don’t understand, because the test I took was positive.”

“It was probably an expired test. Those give fake positives.”

I was so offended by this comment and snapped back,

“I bought that test that day at the store and then took it right after buying it. It was positive. I did multiple different ones. All positives.”.

She then said she would run the test again.

After another hour or so a doctor came in and told me again, I wasn’t pregnant. She gave me a lot of vague answers and treated me like I didn’t know how to take a pregnancy test correctly. Made snarking comments about how “it was just my period”.

She left and then a nurse came in with the discharge paperwork.

I pressed the nurse with more questions because she was very kind to me. She told me it was probably a chemical pregnancy. Where I was pregnant, but my body quickly rejected it so it never implanted. Hence my positive pregnancy test and then what would seem like an extreme period a week later.

I was technically 5 weeks pregnant.

Steven and I then left the hospital quietly. We picked up some Drive-Thru Panera Bread on the way home because we hadn’t eaten for 12 hours at this point. Steven and I stumbled into our studio apartment, sat on our Murphy bed, and just cried. We cried until there weren’t any more tears. We both mourned the baby we lost. Even though some people wouldn’t consider that to be a baby, to us and we believe it was a baby. I felt empty and kept thinking I did something wrong.

I kept what happened to myself except for a few friends and family members. I didn’t want anyone to really know because at the time I thought miscarriage was something you kept inside. I also felt ashamed due to how I was treated when I sought medical help. That it was silly to be grieving and be upset by it.

Fast forward to August 2018.

Another positive test. A week later, tons of blood.

September 2018.

Another positive. A week later, I started bleeding.

October 22, 2018.

Another positive test. I then tested the next day. Another positive. I kept testing every day for 3 weeks and every day it stayed positive. I was convinced that I was going to lose this baby as I did previously. I didn’t breathe until I made it to the first ultrasound.

November 19, 2018 was the first day we saw the baby, which would end up being my daughter. If you have read any of my birth story you would know that my pregnancy with my daughter ended at 35 weeks due to preeclampsia with severe features.

There is hope after a chemical pregnancy. A loss is a loss no matter how early or late.

One day you’ll be able to look back and see those experiences as only a moment of your life, instead of an overwhelming feeling of despair and hopelessness. It takes time to overcome an experience like this and you need to let yourself heal. Don’t be afraid to reach out to mental health professionals to overcome an experience like this.

My experience with 3 chemical pregnancies gave me a perspective I didn’t have before. I can empathize with those who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss now. It showed me how precious life is and how quickly it can end.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about those babies. I like to think that when I die, I will be able to meet those babies. I remember the days I first learned about them from pregnancy tests and the days I lost them. On Mother’s Day, I think about the first baby that made me a mom.

UPDATE AS OF 2023: In October 2022, I experienced an ectopic pregnancy. Now I have experienced two different types of losses. A chemical pregnancy and an ectopic pregnancy. Both brought me grief that I needed to work through. I can say from personal experience that one loss isn’t harder than the other. They are just different. However, I felt more connected with my pregnancy which ended up being an ectopic pregnancy than I ever did with any of my pregnancies that ended up being a chemical pregnancy.

My ectopic pregnancy lasted longer than any of my pregnancies that were considered a chemical pregnancy. I think also since I got pregnant after many months of trying and tracking and prior to actively trying to conceive I was thinking about it for years. It just hit me differently.

Me sharing my experience with the feelings of a chemical pregnancy looking years back isn’t meant to discount your experience. When I was in the early stages of grieving through them all, they hurt just as bad.

I am currently pregnant again after ectopic pregnancy. It is possible to get pregnant again after loss. I was able to get pregnant fairly quickly after my chemical pregnancy as well as after my ectopic pregnancy.

How can I heal emotionally from a chemical pregnancy?

I found a lot of comfort in reading books about chemical pregnancy and miscarriage. One of my favorite books is “I had a Miscarriage” by Jessica Zucker. I also enjoyed the book “Unexpecting” By Rachel Lewis. Both books really made me feel less alone in my feelings and experience.

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