This week, I am excited to share another interview with a preeclampsia survivor. Preeclampsia survivors are amazing and strong women who have faced some of the worst things you can face during pregnancy and postpartum. In the past few months, I have interviewed a preeclampsia survivor from the UK and her husband as well as a postpartum preeclampsia survivor. The other interview I have done is I interviewed a preeclampsia survivor who started her own Instagram page to bring awareness to NICU babies as well as one who created her own non-profit. I am in awe of these strong women who have taken something so traumatic and horrible into something that helps others.
I am a preeclampsia survivor, and if you would like to read my premature birth story and journey with preeclampsia, click here.
Table of Contents
About me.
Hi! My name is Emily Hartnett. I’m 34 years old. I am married to my husband, Charlie. We have a 2-year-old autistic son Michael. I am a preeclampsia survivor. As of now, I’m fortunate to be able to be a stay-at-home mom. Before I had Michael, I worked in corporate retail and traveled constantly. I love to shop, re-do rooms in my house, go to the park, go out to eat (pre-COVID), and just be with family and friends!
Pregnancy
Tell me about your pregnancy.
I literally feel nauseous when I think about my pregnancy. From the get-go it was stress. I found out I was pregnant SUPER early. The OB/GYN I saw at the time called me while I was in Chicago for work. The doctor told me that my hormone levels were extremely low and that I may have had a miscarriage. When I came back from my trip I went in for a follow-up and everything was fine. But we weren’t happy with how nervous the doctor kept making us feel, so we switched to a different practice.
Long story short, at around 16 weeks pregnant we found out my husband had a chromosome disorder. It’s pretty complicated to explain, but we met with a geneticist. They wanted me to consult with a high-risk doctor, get an anatomy scan, and have an amnio. There were some small chances Michael could have had Down syndrome, Spina Bifida, deformities, etc.
By this point, I was 16 weeks along. Knew it was a boy. I am already connected to this child. I did a consult, who saw nothing wrong with the anatomy scan. And I opted to not have an amnio. I decided that no matter what I found out from the test, I wasn’t going to terminate the pregnancy.
Besides those two scares, I had every pregnancy symptom you could think of. I constantly dry heaved, nauseous all the time, extreme fatigue, carpal tunnel in both hands, extreme heartburn, insomnia,…..you get it. My doctor was amazing and would have me come in whenever I called complaining.
I kept saying “I just don’t feel right”.
I swelled up overnight.
I had Michael 2 days later.
She would run blood work, check blood pressure….everything. It always came back normal. But, I was miserable. I always joked and said I doubt I’m going to make it to my baby shower–just had a gut feeling. I also had a huge feeling of doom around his birth. The day before he was born I called my mother sobbing and said, “I just feel like I’m going to die during childbirth”. I gained over 50 pounds (maybe more but I hadn’t weighed myself those last few days) and everything was swollen.
When did you know something was wrong?
I knew something was wrong when (before I went to the hospital), I was throwing up bile. I had eaten the night before, but every time I threw up it was just bile. Looking back as a preeclampsia survivor it was because of my liver failing.
Birth/NICU
What was it like the day your baby was born?
SCARY. I was 33 weeks. I went into the hospital early on a Monday morning because I had been up all night with stomach pain and throwing up. A month prior I was cramping and had called my doctor late at night. She had told me that if I could go back to sleep that was a good sign and it was probably just Braxton Hicks. This time, however, I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I called. They told me to head into the hospital (10 minutes from me) and that if it was the stomach bug they would at least give me IV fluids. Just to keep an eye on me.
I didn’t think it was any big deal so I did not rush at all. My husband brought me in maybe an hour later. They brought me right into L&D and ran blood work. They were thinking maybe my gallbladder. I wish I had known then what I know now as a preeclampsia survivor, but I didn’t.
At 7 am was a shift change so I had a new doctor and nurse. My nurse Martha kept looking at me and saying “I don’t even know you and I just don’t feel like something is right here”. She was my advocate. Martha started testing my reflexes and walked right out of the room without saying anything. She brought in the head OB/GYN, he tested my reflexes, they looked at each other and walked out of the room.
When my labs came back they said it looked like I had a sudden onset case of severe Pre-E. I was admitted, told I would be on bed rest until they felt they could safely induce me the week later but to maybe prepare for a C-Section. They said that my labs looked like they could be heading towards HELLP and how serious that was. My liver wasn’t looking good.
What happened next?
By this time a lot of my family was there. My sister-in-law is actually a nurse in that hospital and was working. She was a month behind me in pregnancy. I had plenty of support. My nurse finally told people if they wanted to go to lunch so I could get some rest but to keep their phones on just in case. Everyone left, finally felt a little peaceful, Martha let me have a popsicle (HA!), and I was like ok this will be fine.
I looked out my door because the main desk was right there and saw an anesthesiologist talking and looking towards my room. I was like no f*cking way is he coming in here. Martha stormed in, ripped my popsicle out of my hand, and said call your husband right now.
I couldn’t stop crying. When everyone got back in the room I had my mom and Charlie basically in bed with me while the Dr. was telling me I had to have a C-Section right away, my labs came back and they were extremely bad. My organs were heading towards shut down and I could have had a heart attack or stroke. Michael was born maybe 20/30 minutes later.
The rest of the day was a blur. I was in and out because of the drugs and the magnesium. I remember when they wheeled me into my new room they brought me by the NICU so that I could touch Michael’s hand but I was unable to hold him until 24 hours later.
Tell me about your hospital stay.
I can’t say enough about my hospital stay as a preeclampsia survivor. I literally didn’t want to leave. There was 24/7 attention on me because of how sick I was. So I constantly was checked on and made sure I was comfortable which is something I hope every preeclampsia survivor receives.
However, I did end up BACK in the hospital, in an ambulance, just hours after being discharged. Sometimes as a preeclampsia survivor, it can sneak back postpartum and of course, it happened to me. I was put back on a 24-hour magnesium drip and needed to stay in the ICU the first night because L&D was packed. They wanted to make sure I was monitored 24/7.
The ICU was a nightmare. I can’t explain it, but I just felt like they sent me there because I was going to die. The magnesium gave me awful anxiety so I couldn’t sleep. A patient next door to me coded and died in the middle of the night. That was traumatizing. The next day I cried and begged for them to bring me back to the Mother & baby unit. As soon as I got off the MAG they transferred me and I felt immediately at ease. I was unable to see Michael during the 2nd 24hr MAG as well.
In total, I was in the hospital for 8 days.
Tell me about your baby’s NICU stay.
I’m lucky. Extremely lucky. My cousin worked in the NICU and was his nurse sometimes. There were about 10 (maybe) nurses that rotated in the NICIU and I think there was only 1 that I wasn’t crazy about. Again I’m lucky because the hospital is 10 minutes from my house so I could pop in constantly. I went to every feeding except for the 8 am one.
The nurses all told me to take advantage while I could and sleep a ton before I brought him home. I always give the same advice to NICU moms. It makes such a difference. After going through something traumatic and having major surgery you need all the rest you can get!
While I was still in the hospital, Michael had a little episode with his heart. He needed an EKG and a cardio consult. That was the first time I ever saw my husband cry. He had been holding it together since the second I went into the hospital and that just put him over the edge and he lost it. We had to text my family and tell them no more visitors for a bit because he just couldn’t handle everyone kept asking questions and showing concerned looks. My heart broke for him.
After that, it was up and down as I’m sure all NICU stays are. One day he would be out of the incubator and in a “big boy” bed, and then two days later he would be back in the incubator. One step forward two steps back. We learned everything about a newborn there though. It was a blessing in disguise. I don’t know how I would have handled a brand new baby being home right after birth.
As a preeclampsia survivor describe your journey with having a preemie in 3 words
Roller. Coaster. Ride.
Preeclampsia Survivor Reflection
How has your life changed since the diagnosis as a preeclampsia survivor?
My anxiety got worse after being a preeclampsia survivor (I’ve always had anxiety). I constantly thought every time I felt “off” that “I was going to die. Looking back, I think I had a bit of PTSD. I started therapy but only went for about a month. I didn’t click with the therapist and then life happened. Although, I visited my regular doctor’s a lot after being a preeclampsia survivor because I never felt good.
I also quit my job. I had been contemplating it before I had Michael, but then when I got sick my husband and I were like, “I can stay home with Michael”. Life’s too short.
I do wonder about what a second pregnancy will be like and go back and forth a lot about that. I also get nervous about long-term effects. Studies are coming out now about links with cardiac disease in later life and I want to be proactive about it.
Did you struggle with any emotions of failure/upset from being a preeclampsia survivor?
Oh my god did I struggle after being a preeclampsia survivor! I still struggle! I constantly go through the 33 weeks leading up to Michael’s birth and if I did something wrong. Was I too stressed at work, did I eat too much “bad” food, should I have worked out more…..any question there is, I’ve asked. I also have a struggle right now with “my body failed Michael so he was born prematurely and now maybe that’s why he has autism”. The autism feelings are a whole different ballpark but I do tend to link them together a lot.
How long did you suffer from the effects of premature birth as a preeclampsia survivor?
I did have to go on blood pressure meds for about 2 months after being a preeclampsia survivor and the birth. Other than that the suffering was more of a mental/emotional one and I would say I just started to feel my normal self at the beginning of this year.
How is your baby doing today?
He’s amazing and huge! People laugh when I tell them he was a preemie. He’s in the 99th percentile for everything. He got diagnosed with autism this year. I have read that there is a higher risk of autism with preemies but there are so many unknowns still. He’s currently non-verbal but I have high hopes he will start talking soon! Other than that he’s just the happiest kid!
If you could go back, what would you tell yourself?
This is a hard one – I’ve been thinking about this question for literally days. I think the biggest thing would be to get into therapy ASAP. You don’t realize how much the trauma will affect you until, unfortunately, you’re in the middle of a panic attack that hits you out of nowhere. Being a preeclampsia survivor is tough.
The first panic attack didn’t come until my son was about 4 months old. I literally thought I was going to die. I know now (2 years later) how they feel and that I’m not dying but the first few months I started having them were scary.
What advice would you give to a preeclampsia survivor whose baby is currently in the NICU?
I’ve unfortunately had a few people I know have their babies in the NICU since our stay. I tell them that it’s ok if they are too overwhelmed to have visitors. The nurses will even take the blame for saying no other family – ha!. It’s going to be one step forward and two steps back so try not to get your hopes up so much because they will just get crushed. Focus on the present and not the future.
My BIGGEST advice has been to keep the baby on the schedule the NICU had them on when you bring them home! I swear my son is the best sleeper because they had him on such a tight schedule. He learned to sleep through all the loud noises from the get-go!
As a preeclampsia survivor what do you wish people knew about premature birth?
Before I had my own child, I had a friend who gave birth prematurely. I remember being nervous but always like it’s fine he’s in the hospital getting the best care and didn’t really think of how it would affect my friend. Now that I’ve been through it, no one can prepare you or tell you what it feels like to give birth prematurely. There’s the guilt. Guilt that your body failed your child and couldn’t keep them safe for 9 months. Scared of if your child is going to survive being born so early or what their health is going to look like. Anxious of all the unknowns of the future.
As a preeclampsia survivor what do you wish people knew about preeclampsia?
How fast it and come on, and most importantly, IT CAN COME BACK POSTPARTUM. I was at my OB/GYN for 4 or 5 days with a normal BP and no protein in my urine before I became extremely sick. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I know you read a lot that the delivery of the baby is the cure but it’s not always. My BP crept right back up along with my liver enzymes 5 days postpartum. The nurse had warned us that sometimes that happens and it was a good thing she did because we were smart enough to go back to the hospital.
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If you are a preeclampsia survivor or HELLP syndrome survivor and would like to share your story, please contact me through email at courtney@knockonmotherhood.com. I would love to share your birth story and keep spreading awareness. I am trying to gather as many preeclampsia survivors’ birth stories as possible to spread awareness.
If you are a preemie mom, I would also love to share your preeclampsia survivor story. Please contact me through email at courtney@knockonmotherhood.com.
Want to embrace what you went through? Get this preeclampsia survivor shirt by clicking the image below.
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