Postpartum Advice: 10 Things I Would Tell My Postpartum Self

What I Would Tell My Postpartum Self

10 things I would tell my postpartum self. Postpartum advice and what my life was like in my postpartum period.

During the first 6 months of Cora’s life, I woke up with a gamble of if it is going to be a good or bad day. Nothing, in particular, would happen but my mood could change in an instant. I spent a lot of my time forcing myself to do things like rolling out of bed and changing into a clean set of underwear.

Laying in bed all day and wallowing was what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to be a burden on Steven so I tried to fight through the battle in my mind. Often, I didn’t tell my husband what I thought or felt because it was the same sob story.

I wanted to cry more often than Cora actually cried.

I looked at her petite frame and felt like I failed because my body didn’t grow her as it should’ve. For each bottle, I prepared I felt shame that I didn’t pump breastmilk to strengthen her. Part of me thought I should’ve pushed myself to keep pumping breast milk even though I knew that I dried up.

Life after I brought my daughter home was hard.

I would tell my postpartum self postpartum is Really hard.

I didn’t know what to make of this life change. Everyone was telling me, “Isn’t being a mom so wonderful?” “Newborns are the best”.

I felt nothing like that.

I would tell my postpartum self I felt trapped, but that changes.

The apartment I lived in was a small one-bedroom with no air circulation in a tiny college town. My husband went into work every day at Jamba Juice with our only car, a 2 door Hyundai accent. Once September rolled around, he also went to school to complete his final semester. And I was left on my own to care for this baby I hardly knew.

I hated every moment.

My life was over. I would do nothing else but change poopy diapers and rock a baby to sleep. I thought I would be stuck in that awful and small apartment forever. The college town I was in felt like a bubble that I could never burst.

My eyes were green-eyed with jealousy of everyone else’s life. Anyone who had a baby around the same time as me, I was jealous because they looked like they never had a baby. Those who didn’t have babies, I was jealous because of all the free time and sleep they got. I was jealous of those who weren’t in college anymore and weren’t stuck in this small town. I couldn’t see anything that was good in my life because I kept comparing.

I would tell my postpartum self that even though you feel ugly you will one day feel polished.

My self-esteem was tanked. My belly was huge and squishy and covered in red, deep stretch marks. I continued to wear maternity jeans and underwear because that was the only thing I could fit into and didn’t irritate my incision if I ever changed into anything besides pajamas. My face was covered in pimples and rashes that I didn’t have before, which made me feel like I was the ugliest person to walk the earth. My hair was falling out in clumps which I would fall to the floor and cry to my husband,

“I’m going BALD! I am so UGLY!”

I didn’t eat that healthy. Really no excuse for it because even though we were poor, we could have afforded more fruits and vegetables. But that seemed like a lot of work. It was just easier to make a box of mac and cheese or get a Little Caesar’s pizza. I snacked throughout the day and would eat crackers. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything besides be in my tiny apartment throwing myself a pity party.

There seemed to be no future where I was happy. I convinced myself that this was my life now. And I made a horrible mistake. I would never feel pretty or strong again. This unfamiliar body was something I was stuck in forever, stuck in this tiny apartment and it was never going to change.

I wish there was some way I could go back and tell my postpartum self that life did get better.

Way better.

If I could go back I would tell my postpartum self these things: 10 Important Postpartum Advice

1. You will bond with Cora. And she’ll become your greatest joy. You will love to play with her and teach her new things.
2. Your face will soon clear up. Yes, you will have some scarring, but you will have hardly any zits.
3. You will be able to wear some of your pre-pregnancy clothes and as each month passes by, you’ll wear more of it.
4. Eating healthier gets easier once Cora starts eating solids. You’ll be more focused on giving her fruits and vegetables at every meal that you’ll have some too. You will find a lot of yummy healthy recipes that even Steven will request for dinner.
5. Comparison is the thief of joy. It is hard to not do sometimes, but no one lives the same life you do. Enjoy what you have now and be grateful for it.
6. I would tell my postpartum self your hair will stop falling out. I promise.
7. Exercise becomes something you enjoy doing again. You will be able to do push-ups and sit-ups. It just takes time for your stomach muscles to heal. Eventually, you will be able to work up to running again.
8. Getting out of bed in the morning won’t be hard anymore like it was. You will be happy and when you go and get Cora from her crib in the mornings, she’ll be so excited to see you. That is worth getting out of bed for.
9. You will move out of that small town and into a bigger apartment.
10. I would tell my postpartum self you will be happy again and will love the life you are in.

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