Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss: Incredible Finale Week 39

This post is a continuation of my previous post about my pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss covering weeks 37-38 of my current pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss. If you have not read that one before this one, I recommend reading it. As well as my first post covering this current pregnancy which covers pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss in weeks 4-17.

I like to share these posts because I have enjoyed reading others’ stories online. It has made me feel less alone in feelings and everything I am experiencing with pregnancy after loss.

For those who do not know, this is my third pregnancy (I have had 3 chemical pregnancies before my living daughter, but I have only had 3 medically/clinically diagnosed pregnancies). My first was my living daughter who was born prematurely due to preeclampsia with severe features and my second was an ectopic pregnancy I am on my second pregnancy in less than a year. This is my pregnancy after ectopic pregnancy loss.

According to ACOG an ectopic pregnancy is, “when a fertilized egg grows outside of the uterus. Almost all ectopic pregnancies—more than 90%—occur in a fallopian tube. As the pregnancy grows, it can cause the tube to burst (rupture). A rupture can cause major internal bleeding. [Ectopic pregnancy is] a life-threatening emergency that needs immediate surgery.”

According to Pregnancy after Loss Support, “Pregnancy after loss is a unique experience of grief and joy that requires recognition from family, friends, peers, and professionals“

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Table of Contents

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss Week 39:

I made it. I freaking made it.

My c-section was scheduled for 39 weeks and 3 days and on a Tuesday. So this week was technically only a few days.

My husband, Steven, and I had our last date before the baby was born after we dropped off our oldest at preschool. He started his paternity leave a few days before the c-section date so we could have some time all together before the big day. We went out to one of our favorite restaurants and were just in awe that I was still pregnant.

I had been feeling intense cramping, particularly at night the last week. It was painful but nothing more than I would describe as a period cramp. But the last few days of the pregnancy I was feeling the cramping pretty constantly but it never got to be what I feel like contractions would be.

I hadn’t been sleeping well, which isn’t new since I struggled to sleep through the night with constant wakings to use the bathroom and not getting comfortable with how big my belly was.

I was starting to also feel very anxious and nervous for surgery. Even though I knew generally what to expect and how the recovery was, surgery is still scary. Part of me was anxious for preeclampsia to show back up and still scared of loss. I was really scared I was going to wake up one day and not feel any movement. Or she wasn’t going to cry after she was born.

Over the weekend, we did a deep clean of the house, made sure all the laundry was done, rechecked the hosptial bag, do a last costco/sam’s club run to stock up on snacks and easy meals to put together. This whole weekend we spent together as our last time as a family of 3.

I also got recieved a call from the hospital L&D to talk about when to come in and how to prepare. I was told what time to go in, what time to stop eating and drinking the night before, and how I would shower there with a special surgical soap. It really made everything so real. I was also reminded that if I had contractions or anything before I would go straight to L&D.

The day before birth

Monday was the last full day I was pregnant. We had our oldest daugher, Cora, pick what to do that day. We bought some fast food lunch and went to a park and got ice cream. It was surreal to know that the next day we would have a new member of our family earthside. We enjoyed the time we had just the 3 of us.

It was crazy to tuck in our daughter for bed that night knowing that everything was going to change. And the next time she would see us would be in the hospital. We had to be at the hospital early that morning before she would wake up.

The morning of birth

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was just so excited and anxious. I was also very uncomfortable at this point. I understood now what women would complain about being so uncomfortable because I never got that with my first pregnancy ending early. Although, I would much rather be uncomfortable than not pregnant or losing another baby. Even though I’ve been through a full term pregnancy, I still don’t have much patience for those who complain about “still being pregnant” because it is much better than giving birth early or losing your baby.

When the alarm went off, I was already awake. So was Steven. It was a weird combination of excitement and scared. We both knew that things were likely to go very smooth since I had no pregnancy complications, but all we knew was a traumatic birth.

We checked the hospital bag and made sure to put in all the last minute things in. Shortly after waking and getting ready to go my parents showed up at our house. They were watching Cora and would take her to school before meeting us at the hospital after the birth.

We said our goodbyes and prayed together then we drove to the hospital.

The world was quiet since it was so early in the morning. I was so excited to still be feeling movement and felt really assured that she would be born living. The last time I was inside this hospital, was when I was rushed to surgery for the ectopic pregnancy. So it felt all kinds of weird to be back. I chose to deliver that this hosptial because they took care of me so well during the ectopic surgery when I was just a mess.

In a long birth story short (I plan on sharing my birth story in the future!), Eleanor was born during a calm and chill planned c section. It was the most wonderful experience and it healed so much of my heart.

Ending thoughts about Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss

Pregnancy after loss and preeclampsia is so hard. I was second-guessing every single symptom and feeling. I had absolutely no preeclampsia symptoms, and had to I keep telling myself that.

And that is what makes pregnancy after preeclampsia so difficult. It’s so mentally and emotionally exhausting. It’s waiting for it to happen, even though it might not. It’s counting down the days and hoping you will make it farther than the last pregnancy.

I am happy I that I made it full term and I made it to my scheduled c-section date with smooth sailing. The fear of preeclampsia and loss never fully subsided. But once she was born and in my arms, I felt a huge burden lift off of my shoulders. I finally made it.

My rainbow baby doesn’t erase the baby that we lost last year to an ectopic pregnancy. We miss that baby so much and will always grieve that we never really knew that baby or got the chance to raise them. However, my rainbow baby showed me that good things could happen to me. That birth could be a good experience for me.

Pregnancy after Ectopic Pregnancy Loss FAQs:

I had surgery and my tube was removed
I also had a large cyst in my ovary at the same time that was drained out during the surgery
I had a D&C at the same time
I never took methotrexate to manage the ectopic pregnancy
I do not qualify for a VBAC due to my medical and pregnancy history
I have been on baby aspirin ever since I was TTC due to my history of blood clots and preeclampsia
I tracked my cycle after my ectopic pregnancy surgery with Easy@Home Pregnancy Tests“>Premom pregnancy tests

Books I Read After My Ectopic Pregnancy Loss

I read a few books after my ectopic pregnancy loss. I found books helped me feel less alone in what I was going through.

Some of my favorites are:

I Had a Miscarriage by Jessica Zucker
Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss by Rachel Lewis
Gone Too Soon by Sherri Devashrayee Wittwer

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